Why is She with Him?

A dear friend of mine- by her own admission- is on the ‘thick side’. She’s a single mom who never got her pre-baby body back. She’s been struggling to get geared up to start dating again. She feels that because she is heavier than she has ever been, she doesn’t have a real chance at finding an attractive, successful man. She tortures herself with questions like, ‘Why would he be with me? When he has his choice of women, why would he settle for someone at the bottom of the barrel?’

It’s a heartbreaking mental prison that we surrender ourselves to.

But, is this thought process really a surprise to anyone? In high school storylines, the cute cheerleader is paired up with the heart-throb quarterback. In sitcoms featuring married couples, the cheerleader somehow ended up with the plain guy that’s held to no standard or expectation. Apparently, the quarterback opted for eternal bachelorhood.

We are all familiar with the cute wife/dopey overweight husband couples that we see as ‘normal’ on TV shows. King of Queens, and According to Jim are obvious sitcoms that come to mind, but it’s even been in our animated shows! Family Guy features a very hot Lois who is in love with a very rotund Peter. For the last 20 years we’ve seen Marge Simpson throwing on a dress, always accessorized and well groomed, while buffoonish Homer slacks off at work and then chugs down beers at Moe’s.

Now that I’m watching close friends take baby steps into the dating world, I see how this view has permeated their own confidence of where they fit in. Hot guys end up with hot girls, and… unattractive guys end up with hot girls, too. So where does that leave women who don’t feel they are a perfect 10? Should they resign themselves to settling? And what does settling look like nowadays?

If all of these families presented in primetime have perpetuated a society where women shouldn't dare expect parity or fulfillment in romance and relationships- then what should they expect?

Perhaps I’m going about it all wrong. Maybe I should be applauding the winners who will profit from this mindset. It certainly couldn’t have been easy to make their fantasy seem like a normal, acceptable way of life! Apparently being a gluttonous, immature, self-interested fool somehow makes you worthy of unconditional love from a gorgeous hard-bodied woman- as long as you have a sense of humor. Just don't be too heartbroken when you realize the rest of the world is thinking 'Why is she with him?'